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June, 2000 6/30/00 Just
when you decide you want it,
you can't find the thing anywhere. For me, this happens a lot when it
comes to clothing. Okay, I'll admit it -- I love But when I see something I want, I don't always buy it immediately. I have to think about it until I begin to obsess over it (does this make me seem shallow and superficial? Eh, so what). Finance often plays a starring role in this bit of fashion-vacillation (duh), causing delayed-reaction lusting over a material object. So. I happened to be browsing through the Express Website and happened upon the really cool mesh tee pictured above. I began to obsess over the graphic on the shirt. Waited a while. Finally started visiting Express stores in search of this little screen-printed grail. None to be found. Oh, plenty of solid colored ones. Naw, I have enough solid colored tee shirts, thank you. But I'm still looking...
About four years ago I was working in an office whose air conditioning had absolutely no humidity (God knows, there's little humidity in air conditioning as it is -- but this felt like the Sahara Desert in the winter). I wear soft contact lenses (have been for nearly twenty years) -- soft contact lenses and dry, arid environments are not a good mix. By noon of one particular day, my lenses were feeling especially dry and gunky (the right eye was worse than the left) -- so I traipsed off to the bathroom to clean them. Welllll...like a careless idiot I did not put a few drops of saline into my eyes to loosen the lenses. Uh huh. By now you can probably visualize (no pun intended) what happens when one attempts to extract a dry contact lens which has managed to adhere itself to one's cornea and epithelium (that's the clear tissue which covers the cornea). Yup, I tore a tiny section of cornea from my right eye. And it just HAD to be directly over my pupil. It sounds worse than it actually was -- no blood or shards of flesh, nothing gory. Just a tiny, itsy-bitsy, nearly microscopic pinch of tissue...and I'm suddenly seeing 20/50 in my right eye (when it's normally 20/15 with contacts). Yarrgghh! So,
from then on I had this horrible "ghosting" effect in my right
eye. Basically it's like seeing afterimages of objects -- it's even more
noticeable when you're looking at something light against a dark background.
I had to go to my ophthalmologist Which brings me back to my dilemma: I can't find the friggin' ointment version! I have the drops -- which are okay for the daytime, but I need the ointment for nighttime. I've gone to all the major drug stores, nothing -- only the drops. So now I'm going to have to start trolling the small pharmacies. Dammit. Please don't suggest LASIK -- I'll save that subject for another rant. For now, let's just say that I reaaalllly don't feel like having lasers burning and carving away at my eye. Nor do I want to have my epithelium peeled back from cornea -- for all I know, it'll probably rip. And the "enhancements" -- what a joke. Enhancements=the doc f**ked up the first time. I may have intermittent ghosting in my right eye, but at least I DO have my night vision, thank you very much. Anyway. I just hope I can get my hands on some Muro 128 soon. My tube is nearly finished. That doesn't sound quite right... Ah, hell...
On the writing front (RE: Mind Diver): I had a more productive day on Thursday (6/29) with a word count of 935 -- today's was a mere 469 words. I'm finally advancing to the "good" part, though -- Gillian will finally meet Christopher (aka "Lord Bookworm"). She'll find him moody, yet intriguing. Hmmmm. I'm hoping the characters will guide me to larger word counts so that I can finish the rough draft of this bugger...soon. My goal is to write at least 1000 words per day -- unfortunately production seems to hinge on how interesting I find a particular section. This, of course, is an issue I'll have to wrestle with when I do the initial rewrite. But I'm not going to worry about that now. Really I'm not. I'm TRYING not to worry about it...
This page webbed by Anne Hutchins. Yes I did it myself. Honest. Copyright © 2000. All rights reserved. |
fashion, though I'd like to think that I'm not a slave to it.
And "fashion victim" -- hey, nobody puts a gun to my head and
demands: "Wear THIS, or I'll shoot." I mean, I can resist a
trend which I think would be unflattering or uncomfortable (example: spiked
heels. Yeah, I know they make any pair of legs look long and
gamine -- but think how you'll look after, oh, ten or twenty years of
wearing those things: varicose veins, collapsed arches. You get the picture.
You'll never see me wearing spiked heels. Ever. Trust me. It'll
never happen). 
Speaking
of not being able to find things,
I'm having a really hard time (oh, this is going to sound soooo glamorous)
finding the ointment version of 
for a crapload of different treatments: antibiotic drops, steroid drops,
various ointments. Eventually the condition cleared up and I was fine
-- for nine months. Then the ghosting mysteriously returned. That's where
the 
